Never Take Friendship Personal 20th Anniversary: With and for Each Other

12 min read
Live MusicRockShow Review

One of the best things about these old school Tooth & Nail lineup shows is the almost impossible variety. They come from these few glorious short decades after the dawn of Internet wildfire fanspreading but before the algorithmic prescription sought to ratchet eyes open Clockwork Orange style to watch a parade of set sameness in each administered show, automatic playlist, and "Watch Next" feed. Not that I have an opinion on any of this; I am your trustworthy highly objective music reporter. I'm just saying, a lot of us discovered we liked a wide range of music and felt a connection between bands that had very little to do with "sounds just like this" or "showed up in my feed". Maybe I'm just jadedly nostalgic. I mean, I'm also exactly right without possibility of error, I'm just leaving room for a deeper understanding of my enjoyable personality. But enough about how right I am; let's talk about 6 or 7 different kinds of rock music in the 4 bands I saw tonight.

We saw like, so much rock.
We saw like, so much rock.

Never Take Friendship Personal was Anberlin's brilliant 2005 release. (Actually brilliant, I mean: go listen to it and see that I'm right.) This tour celebrates 20 years of that release alongside their new album Nevertake, a re-recording of Never Take Friendship Personal with their new touring vocalist, Matty Mullins. Matty hails from Memphis May Fire, a really solid metalcore band you might discover made reading this article worth it just so you can go listen to them, right now. Go ahead, you can do that while you read the rest of this.

Foxbat

Someone said it's a kind of plane, but that doesn't seem right.
Someone said it's a kind of plane, but that doesn't seem right.

Man, I love it when bands have local openers. I love, love, love it. I wish more people understood how important this is. I also wish more people had come to this particular show for this particular local opener, because they were a ton of fun and energy. "THE ONLY GOOD FOXBAT IS A DEAD FOXBAT." I now own a bumper sticker proclaiming this, and I still don't know what it means. There's some kind of bug-looking thing on it. I also got some matches. And a shirt. And a vinyl. And a comic book? Yes, a comic book, because concept albums with multimedia packages are so back. I don't know what a Foxbat is though; the comic didn't explain it.

He's having a good time; so should you.
He's having a good time; so should you.

What I do know is I had a great time with this band. They didn't come to be background music for people waiting for the next band. They came to make Foxbat fans. They were friendly to them between songs and brutal during, passing screams into the singing and gritty riffs against that kind of drumming that goes through a few pairs of sticks per show. I guess they're... uh, emocore with nu-metal nods? Metalcore with rapcore fusion moments? I don't know. I'm not good at this part. They have music in places you can go hear; you come back and tell me. What I can tell you is that they worked hard. This is something important about local openers, whether they just formed last summer or have been sweating through records, regional tours, and navigating the minefield that is the music industry for a decade like Foxbat has.

"Come on up, let me see your faces, let me see your eyes." Clay urges the crowd that's wandered in so far. Those that do, pressing to the barrier to hear them better and show their eyes, get rewarded with some headbang-worthy rock. This is a band that figured out where to sit their post-emocore-or-whatever-this-is sound and make it fun. That matters, because I'm going to be honest: this flavor of rock music only works for me if you know your main job is rowdiness. Foxbat got this, and did that. They tell us one of their songs features Stephen Christian on the recording. That's the lead singer of Anberlin, who has taken a step back from live tours. It's a good reminder these bands, all of them, are here with and for each other.

He can see their eyes now.
He can see their eyes now.

By the end, they had enough of the crowd shaking the rails and moving heads and bodies to their antics to get some new fans out of it. There was dancing, there was some singing along (never underestimate the friendship-building a rock band can do with a few good "whoa oh ohs" in a chorus). They even teach us the important part of one of their songs so we can sing it too. We do; it's pretty fun. Clay and the band called the crowd up, closer, three different times. They know they're not "The Band" most of this crowd is still thickening to critical mass for. They know they're "the opener". But they also know their sound and how to wield it. They're here to peel newcomers off the back wall and get people to move. They remind people to go check out the other bands' merch because "it helps them tour". "And if you have anything left and wanna come check out our merch, awesome." This humility in between their rambunctious jumping around and leaning down to scream or shred made Clay's calls to "get up here, come on up, let me see you" feel more like invitations than flat rousing gestures. They asked for something, they gave something. That's what local openers are for, and Foxbat is for that.

I'm a fan. I'm not a foxbat, though. You can't make me one.
I'm a fan. I'm not a foxbat, though. You can't make me one.

Watashi Wa

Rock music with the boys.
Rock music with the boys.

Watashi Wa is not a Foxbat. That's a fun kind of sentence you get to write when you do live music reviews (reminder that 10TDB is always looking for contributors). I'd seen and loved Watashi Wa twice in the last 18 months, so I was stoked when they put me on the list to come out and make it an even third to shoot this show. I've talked before about Seth's songwriting, but I wasn't done talking about it yet; good thing I went and shot this show so I could tell you more about it. It's just this uncommonly skillful but never overdone songwriting, placed within a band that wants to bring it out. The music is unashamedly quieter than the rowdier edges of tonight showcased by Foxbat just moments ago and Emery still to come. But don't mistake it for not-rock. It's is-rock and its job is to make you feel that in the music and through the things Seth sings about. Seth especially will remind you of that with some kick-outs and jumps as he plays. You can absolutely tell he loves playing live; they all do. And especially this show: Seth shares they've been friends with Anberlin a long time, and are honored to join them on this tour. These bands are here with and for each other.

He always gets so into it. It's his thing.
He always gets so into it. It's his thing.
Ben the bleep blooper.
Ben the bleep blooper.

This show has some changeups from the February show I wrote about. Casey is handling rhythm guitar and vocals on this tour in lieu of Jimmy. Justin's here to cover for Matthew on drums (the astute and classy will recognize Justin from Noggin Toboggan, just like bassist and supporting vocalist Jeremy). They've also brought on a keyboard player, Ben. This is fun: I haven't seen Watashi Wa get some bleep bloops before. It was a nice texture and fit well with their sound. I'm glad to see him in the band. He was also glad to see himself there. He was having a great time with the music: smiles, joy, a little headbanging that sent his hat flying a few times. He loves playing live too.

They played an array of greats spread across their many albums, including from their "Lakes" era, when they were known by that name. They bring out a new song, too. That's a thing: now people know they're working on new music, and it's coming, Seth promises us. The crowd approves and enjoys this surprise; a follow-up to 2022's People! Like People! is most welcome. And the new song is unmistakeably a Watashi Wa song. It lands on that upbeat, driving side of their repertoire, frothing the excitement for this first listen of their new music. It's no surprise Seth can still crank out a solid song for the band to build upon. Whether under a name about bodies of water or a Japanese self-referential declarative, Seth has been making great music for most of his life. He started Watashi Wa when he was 13, and he could already write songs that showed huge promise. He has a penchant for pop rock sensibilities steered through a pop punk legacy put into alternative rock chords – that was a pretty good one, right? See, I'm getting better at this genre tagging game already.

They sound great from down here.
They sound great from down here.

But whatever it is, it just keeps working. Part of it is what he sings about. There's just an honesty to Watashi Wa songs. They move up and down between faster and slower pieces, but there's a kinetic energy that complements this show perfectly. They bring us rock sold by weight, not volume. If Foxbat has to understand unbridled rowdiness, Watashi Wa has to understand interior energy. And they do. Watashi Wa doesn't have that raw-edged raspiness we'll otherwise hear tonight, they have something else that takes you to the same place: lost in the music, smiling, moved up to the front to experience it. Maybe those gripping the front rails are headbanging a little less than a rowdier sound might bring out, but they're singing loud enough that it all works the same in the end.

Until next time, friends.
Until next time, friends.

Emery

An emery of Emerys.
An emery of Emerys.

I need to get this out of the way right now, because I'm sitting here editing their photos and I just can't stop seeing it: Toby has this shirt and shorts ensemble that makes him look like the nicest dad ever, less than four minutes away from firing up the mower while whistling cheerily. But instead he and Emery mow us. We get cut down with the kind of explosively sharp but unquestionably musical post-hardcore that they've been wielding since 2004's The Weak's End (which is a masterpiece album and if you disagree that's okay because being wrong about one of the finest examples of post-hardcore doesn't make you a bad person at all, I promise). We are now in our grass-cuttingly hard part of the show.

I mean, you see it too, right?
I mean, you see it too, right?

But opening with "The Ponytail Parades" is very deliberate: you instantly acknowledge these are really skilled musicians who are about to devastate you. The screaming and brutally stroked riffs are moments away. But first, they'll show you Emery is a whole band and a whole sound. They have six people on this stage, and five of them have mics and six of them are singing along, because Dave is going to sing for fun, to himself, while he slams drums in our face. We're gonna sing too, because it is fun. That's because the words feel good: it's about heartbreak and placement and rock music that lets everything inside to your outsides. Then Josh starts.

Unclean, indeed.
Unclean, indeed.

Josh is their "unclean vocals". That's how you say "screaming" when people won't listen to a band with "screaming". That's a mistake on their part: this screaming is what takes Emery's already clear musicality and defies any restraints. Josh has some synthesizers to keep himself busy, but this part here is where he earns his paychecks and we get weed whacked. We're better for it. The great thing about Emery's albums is their vocal trading is superb: there are different parts passed between the vocalists, and each is employed as an instrument, alone or in harmonies. I wondered how that held up live and it turns out the answer is the albums don't do it justice. The energy in the live moments where Toby, Devin, Matt, and Chris are working to create a layer of earnest singing-as-a-whole gets interspersed with Josh letting loose. Or sometimes Josh lets loose and they just keep going.

*Air guitar noises*
*Air guitar noises*

That's harder to do than it looks, because it can quickly feel weirdly competing or gimmicky. But they avoid that neatly by just... knowing how to do it. It's a gift a post-hardcore outfit either has or doesn't, and Emery does. It helps that Dave has this sense of how to bring the drums to maximum and minimum in a way you can anticipate and feel. Musicality isn't just notes: the rhythms of everything in this band mean just as much, and Dave holds that together.

Pictured: lawn maintenance crew.
Pictured: lawn maintenance crew.

They bring us a new song. And people are excited, because this sounds like new album material, and we want new Emery albums. The front row is shaking the rails for it, alive and soaking in the yesyesnewsong itssogood of it all. Then a little later they drop another new song. Midway through it turns into a Phil Collins cover. I don't have to tell you which cover, obviously. And it's great, it's intentional, and we sing along, and then they go on from that into yet another new song. Now it's just getting ridiculous. They're clearly cranking out an album, right? Yes. If you cheated and checked their social media the day before this show, you'd know Styrofoam is headed to our ears this fall. They gave us good prep for it. It carries through what makes their iconic sound work: vocals trading against a well-performed texture of guitars, synths, drums, and sudden moments of destructively raw passion. Emery has to understand brutal musicality, and they show us this understanding in each song without fail. There's no moshing at this venue (boo tbh), but there's enough movement on the floor to show they were doing their jobs. Our grass is freshly cut, our ears are slightly ringing with enjoyment, and we're ready for Anberlin to close this out.

They enjoyed being cut down like weeds.
They enjoyed being cut down like weeds.

Anberlin

If you work hard, you too can be backlit and play guitar.
If you work hard, you too can be backlit and play guitar.

Oh, oh, I have this one: it's alternative rock with a melodic punk influence shaped by the late aughts to mid 2010s emocore tunnel, right? Don't worry, I'm not sure what that means, either. What I do know is that this band is doing this tour for a reason, and they're ready to show that from the first beat. They open with the title track from Never Take Friendship Personal; they don't make us wait for it. The packed venue is vibrating with excitement: it's been some time since we've seen Anberlin, and performing this album in particular is something I for one never thought I'd get to see.

Matty's doing great.
Matty's doing great.

Anberlin broke up in 2014, reunited in 2018, and Stephen Christian announced an "indefinite hiatus" from touring as a lead vocalist in 2023. That Anberlin has chosen to keep going with live shows after Stephen's step back from tours is great. That Stephen tapped his longtime friend Matty Mullins to step up is doubly great, because Matty is ready for the job. (Guess Stephen "took friendship personal" hahaha okay sorry.) Matty reflects a gratitude and humility at the opportunity during the show, openly admitting that not only has Anberlin been a longtime influence on his own music, but he considers it an honor to get to tour with them as friends. Matty has gone through the metalcore and pop scenes at different times, and that diversity works perfectly inside this band. Anberlin hop around rock genres and moods in their own way. And the band as a whole is here with their own kind of gratitude, giving love to Watashi Wa and Emery, longtime friends of theirs. These bands came from a special time and era, like I said.

They're taking us on a magical genre tour.
They're taking us on a magical genre tour.

As they move through their songs, they bring the energy level up with them. Opening with the title track was a bold move; they're playing the album in exact order. But Anberlin finds it easy to keep topping the last with their ability to pour open passion and performance into every song. With "Paperthin Hymn", the second track and fan favorite of this album, the crowd has lost it and I'm having as much fun watching the rails shake with enthusiasm as I am photographing the band. Anberlin's undeniable chart apex to date was actually 3 years after this album: 2008's "Feel Good Drag" hit #1 on Billboard Alternative charts and set a record for being the longest-charting single in modern rock history. And it's a great song. But NTFP is the canonical fan album, the favorite of especially those who followed them since the early days. And they give us all 11 songs without fail. They're here to do this work, and we're here to dance to it. I see lots of joy in the faces as they move to it and Anberlin encourages them, playing the songs faithfully but with a charged live enthusiasm. Matty doesn't try to be Stephen, he tries to sing the songs in a way that works with the rest of Anberlin, and work it does. They bring out "High Stakes" during the encore part of the set, and that's no surprise; Matty wrote that with them. It reminds us of the closeness he already had with this band. These musicians are here with and for each other.

See? They're here for each other.
See? They're here for each other.

And yeah, there's an encore part, of course there is. We want more after the 11 songs of NTFP. They throw us a great selection from other albums and we enjoy it. They close with "Godspeed" and the energy and appreciation has stayed steadily high the whole set. It was a good tour of a fan favorite album with a few fan-honoring encore pieces handed over at the end. We're sated: this is the Anberlin I didn't think I'd get to see, and I hear others reflecting a good time had as well. Never Take Friendship Personal was a seminal album to understanding the mid-aught alternative Tooth & Nail scene, and one of those things we fans just wanted to see. Anberlin had to understand this is a gift we didn't think would become a thing, and that we would want it to happen any way they could. They did understand. And we got it, and it was awesome. They were here for and with us, and we go home happy.

He brought us all something, and we were there for it.
He brought us all something, and we were there for it.